(note: at first i thought this post was like suddenly deleted cuz the window disappeared on its own. lol. so yeah. here it is.)

hmm. weird day. happy and sad stuff together. that's way beyond weird.

first block was math! wheee. and math was fun man! we spent time drawing the map and duh it was kind of fun. with triyono. xD WAHAHHAA. she was so kancheong please! HOHOHO. and when ms neo started collecting and we weren't exactly done, she was like, "FUCK! SON OF A BITCH!" LOL. omg. hahahaa. i was in charge of drawing yeppers and yeeah, they kind of suggested that i can be an architect when i grow up. lol. what has being an architect got to do with drawing maps?! lol. i wanna be a doctor or a bio teacher like PATRICK THE STARFISH! xD HHAHA. funny.

then it was english. yeppers. quite okay lah. I LOVE OUR POSTER! =) MAD HOT BALLROOM! ms low was looking at the quotes on the window panes and suddenly she burst out laughing. it was hilarious i tell you. she saw triyono's quote: "SLACK SOME MORE! I LIKE IT LOOSE!" then she gave this squeal of laughter that kind of shocked me. we were doing the compre quiz at that time and then all of us looked up and saw her in silent fits of laughter. she pointed out triyono's quote and laughed some more. LOL. so RA please.

recess. hmm went to check the uk trip confirmed list. I AM CONFIRMED! ISN'T THAT LIKE TOTAL COOLNESS! i promise i will go all out to get good grades and go for the trip without a single bit of guilt in me. that's my goal. GOOD GRADES! =) hmm i shall define good grades as 75% and above for ALL MY FREAKING TESTS this term from NOW ON.

it was bio after recess and it was kind of interesting! i realised that calling someone an airhead is not wrong at all! neither is it insulting. it is called being scientific! lol. cuz all of us are made up of carbon atoms linked up together. and yeeah. the spaces in the carbon atoms are super big so if we are reduced in mass and size, we would be a force field with a nucleus. =) so if i call you an airhead, please remember that it's a remark of pure science.

chinese was quite a breeze. did the gong han within the lesson. first time writing the fa biao yi jian thing. quite okay. then lunch. ohman. the pressure was on and throughout chem i was mugging physics. and you know what. here comes the bummer. physics test. i screwed it! YAY. haha. like wth. i cannot start to tell you how screwed it is. i kind of teared in the foyer today before the national archives thing. how sad is that?

grarrh. shit. okay people reading. this part on. please don't read okay? promise me. it's a whole load of self-pity crap. i just have to let it out and not let it bother me again. thanks loads.

sometimes i wonder what's strength. i talk a whole lot about it but in the end the truth slams into me: i don't know anything about strength. i know nothing. zilch. cuz i ain't got strength at all. everything. all the stuff. that i have ever thought i was. it's whole lot of bullshit.

self-assured. confident. positive. strong. that was what i THOUGHT i am. heh. now i am turning out the other way round. what the f*** is happening to me. i seem to be letting myself and people around me down all the time, screwing my life left right centre. i am such an asshole that i make myself laugh. oh my god. i am totally losing my self respect.

i never seem to be doing the right thing at the right time. i am always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. like i never get around to doing things that would let me live up to my dreams, goals, expectations and potential (that's if i have any left). take cca's for example, i've been slack during cca's for as long as i remember, except for maybe during the frs period of time when i put my back into doing the robot. and yeah frankly, i would join some sport cca other than just robotics if i could choose all over again. and studies oh my god, this might officially be one of the worst school years of mine. i like totally screwed my physics please and my a math is totally screwed clean inside out.

you know what. it's so funny that the people i don't really hang out with most of the time make me laugh like crazy and make me forget about the matter at hand? it's totally unworldly. like when you talk to your closer friends about tests and other worrying issues, it's different. like they would listen and it's really a comfort to know that they do listen but the thing is they don't always cheer you up instantaneously. grarghhx. the confusion. i prefer to think that they cheer you up like gradually. i am not making much sense. hell. nvm. yeeah that's my point basically.

hmm. i guess. it's about time i should take a step back to have a look at things before diving into the thick of life again. cuz it would be like walking into a 10 ton truck travelling at 100km/h.

adios

quote of the day
"all men fail. only great ones stand up again."
somebody said this. yeah man. stand up again. nothing is impossible.
11:16 PM