talking to melissa. 12 years old.
it's startling what a difference 3 years make.
12 years old i remember i was going through a particularly angsty stage.
haha. get pissed super easily and piss people off easily with my heck care attitude.
lol. though i was a ahem nerd in primary school. i was the nerd with the attitude.
yeah. no bragging. i was. heh. xD

13 and i was a bit calmer. not as angsty.
lol. yeah. i skipped the whole rebellious stage. thank the lord.
i was like a fish in the ocean, travelling on the turbo highway where the ocean current dictates where i go.
i followed this and that and ended up confusing myself.
so there went my pathetic first year as an official teenager.

then 14 rolled on by quite fast.
a few major changes and i was driven to get this and that, but this time it's my whim.
i refused to follow trends and stuff like that. was my own island for the first half of the year.
got the results that i wanted and the other stuff i aimed for.
until july. met my first bf after like 4 years (my previous one was in primary 4).
and whoosh the rest of the year zoomed by in laughter, tears and marathon chats.
hols came and i realised that my bfship was dying.
but i tried to deny it and i did, all the way till the end of 2005.

now at 15, i feel older and more experienced, now that i look back and summarise my secondary school life.
i've come to learn that facades are tempting to don but they are best avoided.
so i learn to wear my heart on my sleeve.
i've come to learn that i have to stop being a blind sheep following the crowd, cuz it's a serious case of the blind leading the blind in there.
so i learn to keep my eyes wide open.
but i guess i was too dumb to realise i've lost someone on the way.
and so i just lost her.
then come vday, i thought i found the answer.
and yes i thought that for another two months or so.
until now.
so i learn that i haven't found a way to keep friends and SOS, i need plenty of help.

just talked to vivien.
brought back some memories.
nice ones duh.
saw and heard her sing during choir concert last night.
dunno why but i teared.
haha. nobody saw, fortunately.
i just thought it sounded damn sweet.
it's all about you.
yesterday you asked me something i thought you knew.
and i told you with a smile,
it's all about you.
then there was another part in the chorus.
dancing on the kitchen tiles,
it's all about you.
hehe. yep. that's what i heard vivien sing.
nice one.
when she sang i just felt like she was my old tablemate all over again.
haha. and i am missing those times at the back with her in 205'05.
and i guess that means i am missing her too.

ahwell.
i guess for now, stuff should take its course.
i will leave it alone, see how it goes.
i guess.
i am praying very hard for a positive outcome.
cuz you know what.
i still believe.

oh check out melissa's blog:
www.juz-meli.blogspot.com
it's nice. haha first timer at blogging.
but ahwell. i think it would be a window through which i see childhood innocence?
lol. yes.

okay back to math.
i was taking a prolonged break.
HEH.
at least now i am totally DONE with trigonometry. that's a small component. BLEH.
i still have functions and quad functions.
ah frick.

<3 gab
9:45 PM